tap, tap, tap

About two years ago, we were at a festival at the high school... and the drum line was playing and doing their thing... they were awesome. Camden loved it! He was clapping and dancing along. As the cadence began, and they marched off, Cam followed- hoping for just a little bit more. He looked up at me that day, and said, I want to do that. And so for the past two years he has been planning on playing percussion when he got to middle school. This summer, Ms Julie, his piano teacher helped him out by giving him some rhythm sheets. The process for the middle school band is this: You sign up... you learn about and try just about every instrument... and then you take a test. If you want to play percussion, you take an additional test- and the director may only chose two students. We've been waiting... and hoping... and praying. Cam has been taking rhythm tests- four, so far. And finally, last Friday, it was narrowed down to eight kids. Today was the day we would finally know. This morning I went in to wake Cam up and snuggle a few minutes- and talk. I wanted to make sure that just in case he didn't make it, he had at least thought of the possibility once. He had a back-up plan, but that is not the same as thinking you might not make it. Now, my Cam has a heart of gold... and even when he ends up disappointed, he brushes it off and carries on... offering a handshake to the winner, or a smile to the one who says "no, we just can't get that done this week." The way he handles it makes you want to please him even more (hence the green inflatable finger!) And so this morning, we talked about how great he had been doing and how much confidence I had that he'd be playing percussion... and what would happen if, by chance, he didn't get the answer he had been praying for. I knew, deep down, he'd be okay either way. I left for work... he told me he'd call me after school. Around 3:30, I started getting butterflies in my stomach- he'll call soon! And then it was 4:15- why hasn't he called? At 4:30 I was on my way to meet him at piano lessons, and decided not to call them in the car- I'd be with him soon, and he could tell me then. But he hadn't called- is that bad news? Or- does he want to tell me good news in person? At 4:45, Eric called me from the car, told me they were almost there, and they'd see me soon. I waited- Anything else? And he replied Oh... Cam... he's a little sad. I'll let him tell you. I had tears in my eyes... and then Cam came on the line- Oh! Hi Mom! They were killing me!!! I asked why he didn't call me- Oh, I forgot. Me again- Wellll? Him- Huh? Me again- Band? Him- Oh! I got it. I'm playing percussion. Just like that... as if he never doubted... never really thought anything different could happen. That's when the tears began to roll... for dreams, big and small... for hope, that is so fragile and so wonderful... for confidence that comes from above... and for my son- who is going to play the drums.


Silly me... I thought we'd just need a set of drumsticks...