nineteen things

We don't even know how it happened.  It was just all of a sudden... split. 
Sure, the ring has worn some after nineteen years of wearing, but the break in the gold had us both at a loss.
Some might take it as a sign or a warning... but as I spun the gold 'round my own finger I thought about the journey of us.  The seasons of plenty and days that have overflowed with love...  and the battering of egos and bruised hearts and the miles that sometimes kept us apart.  Nineteen years is a long time.  Almost half my lifetime so far.  This ring is a promise... from me to him.  A promise that still makes my heart tingle and my eyes smile.  Nothing to do but get the ring fixed.

I have tried to think back to the moment we exchanged rings... and I can almost remember it.  After nineteen years I think that it is okay to have faded, blurry photos  in my mind.  But it makes me realize that there are more moments that I want to always remember... crystal clear.

1. Dancing that last dance with him, in my spectator flats... him singing Beauty & the Beast into my ear... and into my heart.
2.  The moment I saw him step off the Coast Guard Cutter after his first trip away... and every military home-coming after that.  His arms are home to me.
3.  A little bundle of pink balanced in his hands... and the sweetness of his kiss on the top of her head.
4.  The stunning saddness we held each other through when we were told our baby girl would not see.  And the recovery from that diagnosis... coming around to knowing that we could do this. 

5. Our second wedding anniversary, the first we spent together... a babysitter, a green dress, dinner at Top of the Hub and us. 

6.  His fearless, unwavering decision to move to Florida.

7.  The moment we knew our family was complete...

8.  Every compromise he has ever made for me.  For us. 

9.  His graduation from college, and then the Police Academy. What he does for our family fills me with an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

10.  The laughter that filled the car as we drove from my cat-scan to the ER when my appendix needed to be removed. We seem to mostly choose laughter. (And afterwards, hearing how he almost decked a guy who was giving him a hard time at Cub Scouts the next night, because he was still so worried about me, made me cry.)
11.   The night he met Cam on the opposite side of the bridge... as he crossed from being a Cub Scout to a Boy Scout.  and how he stands with him still... not to mention the other boys he stands by.
12.  How he held me up that Mother's Day when I couldn't stand on my own. 
13.  Collecting Mickey antenna toppers, loving the Smurfs, bringing our sense of  youth into our lives even though we are no longer... young.
14.  Being a family of four and all that it entails.  Even the crazy days are important in knowing that all you have is all you need. 
 

16.  Taking our daughter to the Youth Gathering. Together.  And watching father & daughter take the lead... working together. 
17.  Being in Africa... knowing that while he didn't expect it to change something in him, it did anyway... and he let it.
18.  Standing at the edge of God's unfathomable creation and knowing that we are in His hands.

19. This one, right now, today... and all the beautiful ones still to come.  He is still the best husband ever.

There are ups and downs, laughter and tears... and a love so strong and true that God weaves through it all.
Happy Anniversary, Eric... I love you.  Always.