this mother's heart

The first glance at the clock this morning sent me on a journey back in time.  Fifteen years.
I remember that morning so clearly... waking and feeling my water break.  The relief and giddy laughter, along with packing my bag, that followed.  The trek to the hospital and knowing that this was it.  The pregnancy that almost broke me was ending and my new adventure was just around the bend.

I believe it was all His plan... the tough months of preparation, the early labor... and all of the hope and joy and life that He bundled in this small boy.  While Laura made me a mother, Camden made me more.  For both of them.  I was not unafraid... but when my heart quaked, God stilled it. His sweet smile, full nights of rest, the warmth of his small self... and the laughter that bubbled out of him at the most unlikely moments.

And now he is fifteen.  Fifteen. 
He is as much a joy to me today as he was then.  Maybe... even more so... as I see this beautiful boy becoming the most generous man.  My heart of thankfulness is certainly overflowing.   And when this mother's heart quakes, I recall how he has taught me to love completely, fight for what is right and laugh with my whole self.  And I am still. 

To my beautiful (um, handsome.  I mean cool.  Or awesome) son... happy birthday.  I love you.