for me... and them

Saturday I took eight hours all for myself... and the world did not fall apart. Not the whole world, and not even my little corner of it. As I write that, I wonder when it even occured to me that that could be a possibility? But some days, I do feel it. That if I stepped out the door, or stepped away... life would begin to unravel. That is quite a lot of pressure on one small life. And the fact is, that pressure is all created by me.

I am quite blessed with a husband who wants to be by my side and share the weekend together. He will drop me off at Hobby Lobby while he does his own errands, and then browses with me for just-a-bit when I am not quite finished wandering. Most of the time, if I tell him I have lunch with the girls planned, he'll smile & nod and off I go. But then, there are those other times... the times when I see his face fall in disappointment, or he jokes that I'd rather go with the girls than spend the day with him, that keep me from even suggesting it. I want to please him. Him... and everyone else. I suppose I don't even have to say where that leaves me...

I kissed my two goodbye as they headed out for math and horses before the thought raced through my head that I would not see them between their activities and mine. Calling them back, for one more kiss, I let them know that I was going to work on our scrapbooks and that I might not see them before bed, and they both cheered about the scrapbooks, even saying how much they missed me doing it, and one even added in how much she loves them. And when I said goodbye to Eric hours later? He sent me off with a have fun, and followed up with an I love you text.

I was gone just over eight hours, and nothing fell apart, broke or even shifted. I'm not sure they even missed me. I had fun. And... I might even go back next month.