these summer days

She texts me that she is going to run down to Publix for some groceries, and do I need anything? For a moment I see her in her red cozy coupe, carrying her Zoe pink plastic purse. And not for the first, second, or forty-seven-millionth time I wonder where did the time go?

Even before the calendar page turns February, my mind leaps ahead to summer and all that it just might bring. And while April is showering, something in me shifts and I am just ready for school to end and the freedom of summer to begin. I wonder how it is possible that I would be willing to toss May to the wind, and all of the joy and the gifts that might be waiting in her days... but oh, sweet summer! When kids can play and there is no schedule to stick to, and no socks to wash!  This year, for the first time, it occured to me that one day all summer would be is another season passing thru... and a hot, muggy, sticky one, at that. One day, sooner that I can really imagine, there will be no waiting on that last day of school...

Even with three more last days ahead of us, I can feel the change. Laura is house-sitting just down the road... and while she does pop in now and again, and texts frequently, she is really making it on her own. Buying groceries and cooking {without enough vegetables, I'm sure} and working at the barn as a camp counselor. I see that it is so good for her, and really, for me. Even though she won't be heading off away to school until May, this expererience is readying our hearts...

And isn't God's timing perfect? For so long I was struggling in the sea of not-enough-mothering, and I was doing my darndest to soak them all in before this time I was dreading {now!} came to pass. But here we are... and my heart is really ready.  I'm sure there is nothing I did to make it so.  Just like when I was so afraid of putting my kids out there on the road to drive... and when the time came, it was such a relief not to have to keep up with their schedule, and so nice to be able to send them our for that one thing I forgot to pick up...

Every season has its merit... and with God's love and preparation, we'll be ready for each of them.  There might still be a few tears when we get there, but our hearts will be ready.