tears for two...

Some days they can collide.  Sorrow and joy. 
I was thankful I had tucked this into my pocket... because my heart was churning and I could feel the tears coming...

Those tears of sorrow caught me during church, where I am stripped raw of me and all that remains is the thinnest skin... so open to God and what He has to teach.  Cam leaned over and smiled about one of his favorite songs... Shine, Jesus Shine.  And that was what did me in.  One year away from this earth, and I am so missing her.  I see her face in photos and smile, and oh I know she is home... but some days I wish for her perspective and grace and light... and the way that she could shine Jesus into this messy life.  My voice was caught up in silent sobs, but I followed along, letting Jesus shine through my smile as I caught those tears in the hankie I carried then...

: :

With a flurry of planning and whispers of excitement, we caught her totally off guard.  Only home from her Macie Kate travels two days, we surprised her with a Grandma shower.  I don't even recall if we yelled surprise when she opened the door and her mouth fell into an "O."  I was so filled with joy at her arrival.  The tears slid down my face as she made her way around the room, hugging the women who had helped hold her up, prayed with her and for her... and for her family.  Oh there was joy in that room!  For hours we laughed and listened to stories... and enjoyed our grown-up tea party.  And later, when she called me to say thank you, a tear or two more slipped on by that embroidered hankie as we relived the day...

 His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.

-Psalm 30:5